Sunday, December 03, 2006

The History of the Universe in a Single Sentence

Using data provided by NASA’s Wilkinson Microwave Anisotropy Probe, scientists have calculated the age of the universe as 13.7 billion years old, give or take 200 million years.

If you have any interest in writing a history of the universe in a single sentence and you’re not a Biblical literalist or a cynical curmudgeon (I know you’re out there) with axes to grind regarding the empirical results of the Wilkinson Microwave Anisotropy Probe, please email your sentence(s) to adamedl@yahoo.com

The goal is to encapsulate 13.7 billion years of events into a single sentence.

Your historical narrative should consist of real events, but you can focus on whatever you want as long as you use only one word per every billion years of universal history.

If you want to open with the big bang and end with the last episode of Frasier, that’s fine. Or maybe, you don’t want to muddy your sentence with anything as insignificant as humanity. Anything goes, almost.

Just fit your sentence into one of the following three categories:

1) If you want to be wordy, you can round up to a 14 word sentence.

2) If you favor brevity, 13.

3) If you favor precision, you can write a 13.7 word sentence. The fractional word must consist of the first 7 consecutive morphemes of a 10 morpheme long word.

Eventually I will post these sentences on an interactive website about the history of the universe, maybe.